suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The air was thick with penises
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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