I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
