My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
