i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think your dad took our porno
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
