called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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