I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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