I cannot find my penis.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
