I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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