someone threw a dead crab at me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
