I wannas sexs uuuuu
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His nipple licking is glorious
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
