would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I can text with my tongue
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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