$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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