Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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