I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
