We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
