Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
