Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
