Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
