He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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