Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
