My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
