he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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