I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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