please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
