Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
