Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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