Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
