My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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