would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
