My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
