its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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