youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize
