So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
