I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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