absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
