My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
