mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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