there's paper in my vomit.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
