I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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