maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
