well you can't waste a boner
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
