So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
