too bad you live with your parents still
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
