508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
