He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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