i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
