Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
