He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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