fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
