4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
