I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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