Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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