yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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