btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
