I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize