Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
