whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
