its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The air was thick with penises
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Come share oat with me in your robe
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
