Since when is my name a synonym for head?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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