Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
