Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
