Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
