I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
