you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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